can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
