I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
