I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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