I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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