I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Im part way to drunk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
