Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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