Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
