hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
