i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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