Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
