My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
