she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dick very happy bro
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
