am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
