I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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