Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
