we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
