Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
