Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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