have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
