Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize