Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
