so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Can I color on your dick again?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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