I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
