I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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