she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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