Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
