Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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