Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
