Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ketchup is God's man juice
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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