apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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