ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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