dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
