Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize