I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
