I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
