now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
