Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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