I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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