Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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