therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Randomize
