He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
