It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
