I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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