Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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