But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
