turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
