32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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