Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
