"it" just moved
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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