Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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