Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
