took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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