Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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