dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
