I'm so fucking centered right now
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
