is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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