haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
