I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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