I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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