all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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