He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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