neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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